Dear Lord J,

I’ve loved you, I’ve hated you. I’ve been mad at you, I’ve been begging for your help. I used to call myself a Christian, but now I call myself an Agnostic even though I know your name and I still call upon you in my prayers. Now I hate being called a Christian, I don’t even wanna mingle with them anymore. I used to go to church every Sunday, but now I dread going to the church. Although, I have to admit that the times I went to the church these past few weeks were nice.

I’m a sinner, I live and breathe sins. Unfortunately, I’m loving it. I’ve found myself through a series of mistakes. I love myself the way I am now. I am stupid, I am a sinner. Always have, always will.
But through all these times, you’ve proven yourself faithful. There’s always a small little thing that cheers me up everyday. I could cry and wet my pillow, I would think that you’re evil (which you are, by the way. Read my previous post), but there’s ALWAYS something that I need to be thankful for.

So here’s my promise, I can’t promise that I’d be good, cos “BAD” is my middle name. I won’t promise you that I would stop sinning, cos that would be a total bull. I can’t stop sinning, you know that well. But I can promise you this: I would never ever sell my soul to the devil, I would love you still in my own selfish way, and I would never give up and disappoint those who have faith in me. I will always be your naughty lil girl :)

Thank you for 2009. It wasn’t as fucked up as my 2008. OK, so 2009 didn’t start very well, but it got better and better. My last day in 2009 wasn’t good at all, though haha. “Next year will be better,” they say, well I don’t trust them, but hey, feel free to play God and be a hero. Be MY hero. I promise I’m so gonna need u more than ever next year.

Signed, sealed, delivered,
Karina

P.S: Friends forever..?

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
Building castles in the sky
Just the two of us
You and I
-Just The Two of Us // Will Smith

This is for those who sat next to me all year long. Those who have faith in me.

I am not that strong, but I am also not that weak. I have friends, who love me. And I'm sure of that.
However badass I've been, I know that I will never ever let down those who have faith in me. That's a promise.
So let me drink, let me drown my sorrow in a glass of tequila, let me weep, let me scream in frustration, but in the end of the day, you know I'll stand tall, proud and brave.
cos I am.. Karina :)

This is my word. You know you can always count on it.
You know you love me.
And you know that I love you too.